E
by Gingerbread Owl
Summary: SPOILERS for the Tokyo Arc. Kurogane hates it. He hates himself for enjoying it, he hates Fai for giving in. That deep inner craving, the need for more, needing it now. But there's something else that Kurogane can't quite place... KuroxFai


This fic contains mega **SPOILERS FOR VOLUMES 16 & 17!!!**

This is an idea I toyed with for a while and decided run with to see how it turned out. No lemony goodness I'm afraid, I still haven't the nerve to write one! I'm not sure quite why it's set in the desert, it just seemed to feel like the right place when I wrote it. Anyhoo, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** All characters in this fic belong to CLAMP (however much I may wish it otherwise...)

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**'E'**

Stupid bastard. I hate it when you do that and you know it. It's not because I don't want you to, it's not that at all, it's because I'm scared of what might happen if I get caught up too. I can see your eyelids fluttering, even under that tattered black eye-patch. You're breathing is too light, too fast. You're giving in. I love watching you, your mouth moving against my wrist, that supple tongue pulsing in time to my heartbeat, forcing my life from me, into you. But I can't watch. I mustn't. I know you'd feel the intensity of my stare and your half closed eye would open and you'd look at me and I'd flush hot and then cold from head to foot. I want you and you'd be able to taste it in a second. So I'll keep looking away.

Yes, this was my choice and I'll always pretend I'm looking away out of rare sensitivity, so that you don't have to feel ashamed, when the real reason is so much darker. But I can feel you giving in; the vampyric nature consuming your simple longing to live and replacing it with twisted pleasure. I know that if I gaze and see you lost in your desire my own will overtake me. It's addictive, having you pull me closer, pressing your mouth harder, quivering with restraint. Can you tell how damn close I am to near losing it too?

This raw need pulsing through you; I love it, I hate it. I hate you. Why is it that you managed to keep that stupid smile on your face for so long but when it comes to this you can barely hold back? You're shuddering now and, damn, I am too. But something is different, something's changed. Your mouth is no longer at the wound on my wrist; I glance down to see the gash gaping unpleasantly, glistening in the firelight. Your lips, slightly stained with my crimson life, trace my heartbeat up my arm and I can't ask what the hell you're doing because I know exactly what it is you're doing. I can't move. I know I should but I can't. Bloodlust. Which part of me do you want more of?

Your single eye, hazy with desire, although for what I can't tell, locks onto mine and you pull yourself until you're standing, taintedmouth so close to my own.

"Kurogane."

It's not quite a whisper. I can't place your tone. I want to lean down and crush your lips against mine in a bruising kiss, knowing that though it may physically hurt it would still soothe away that damn pain that you've run from for so long that it's consumed you. I want you. But I can't tell what you want from me. Blood? Or something else?

I stare at you and the moment passes. I feel it slipping away, the heat of desire growing cold in your single eye. The molten gold pales and freezes to blue and you pull away, muttering an apology. Mentally, I pull out my sword and hack the world apart.

x x x

It's night again. The campfire that blazed earlier in the dark is dying to sleepy embers. The kids are dead to the world, knocked out after yet another battle that strained their strength to the limit. I just about see you, your silhouette against the sky the only indication of your presence as you blot out a few stars. And your eye, I can see the glow reflecting in your eye. I poke the smouldering wood, stirring up a little more light and look away, coughing slightly. I can see how drained you are. You need energy, you need life. And I willingly choose to give it to you. But after yesterday... I can't even admit to myself that I'm afraid.

You look up, jolted out of your reverie by the sharp noise and I force myself to speak.

"You need blood."

You look like you want to argue. Some expression I don't catch passes over your face and once again briefly wonder how it is you could mask your feelings so well then and yet now your guard drops and your thoughts flit across your face like shadows. I stand and you follow suit. I watch the sand slide from your boots, black and shiny. Your whole style has change since I made my wish. Black suits you somehow.

You tread over the fire, the flames licking your boots, but you move too quickly for them to burn. I step backwards so you won't crash into me and draw my sword. You pause and watch me unwind the now filthy rag that covers one of my wrists. It's still too tender from last night, but I need my other arm strong and whole for battle. You scrutinize the cut, observing the surrounding flesh, purple and green from where your mouth was too eager, small punctures mark where your teeth pierced my skin, the flow too slow for to satisfy your need.

"It's not healed enough."

"It doesn't matter." I raise my sword.

"The clotting will prevent a good flow; it'll take longer and hurt more than necessary."

I ignore you and press Souhito the wound only to find I'm about to slice your fingers off.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"It'll only get worse and take longer to heal."

"I can't give you my other wrist."

"I know."

"Then where the he-?" _Oh._ It dawns on me. Of course. Where else? I can't help but wonder if you're doing this just to get a kick out of it; after all, from all I've heard vampires seem to get heightened pleasure out of taking blood from the neck. But still, if that _is_ why then it's my fault, I chose for you to become like this so I will submit. Just this once.

I nod my acknowledgement and suddenly wish I could take it back as soon as you move closer. You reach up, fingers twisting in my hair, the other hand cupping my face, holding my head so I don't jerk and bash you. I wish there wasn't something so erotic about it. I feel your mouth seeking out my pulse and set my expression in stone so my face won't betray me. Good timing too. I feel the skin rupture under the pressure from those sharp vampire teeth, I can tell you're being as gentle as you dare without offending me. Normally I would be insulted by this tender consideration but for once I'll forgive you because I'm focusing too hard on not dropping to my knees. Yes, it hurts but it still feels so damn _good_.

I sense the change in you as you tense up with restraint, your mouth divulging your hunger, your treacherous body unable to hide your need for _more, now, faster_. You begin to shake a little and I feel myself trembling too. I refuse to give in. I won't. But you're pulling me down until you're kneeling between my legs, your mouth's administrations sending shivers down my spine. And then you begin to change your movements and I know you're not just feeding anymore. You're manipulating me into enjoying this. Ha. Like you need to actually try.

I'm feeling light-headed and I can't tell whether it's from loss of blood or you. Eventually you pull back and lick the blood from your lips and I can see your chest swelling and dropping with each ragged breath. I want to kiss you again and now there's no mistaking that look on your face. I move in and you move to meet me. Your mouth moves softly and I respond with a rough kiss intended to rob the air from your lungs. It works and you gaze up at me, flushed, your single blue eye content for once but your face telling me you want more. You half pull, are half pushed onto the sand and my hands tangle in your soft fair hair, lightly exploring your slim body.

I don't know how long this goes on for. I'm only aware of the sound of you breathing heavily beneath me, your mouth, swollen and bruised, even bleeding a little still moving against mine as our tongues dip and clash fighting if not for dominance then because we don't know how else to kiss. I want all you and I'd have to be a fool if I needed to ask if you felt the same. But the princess and the boy are less than four metres away and we content ourselves with ardent touches, the quiet gasps and moans smothered by hot kisses and pressed palms.

The night wears away and a streak of blue appears on the desert horizon forewarning of the golden fire that will follow in a few hours. The sun takes a long time to rise here. We collapse, slightly sated for now and lie, entangled in each other, knowing we have to move before the day desert creatures begin their dawn clamour. Eventually you sit up and brush sand from your hair, showering me in the stuff. I swear indistinctly and you smile, a real smile, small but genuine. I follow you into our tent and lie close, watching you till you fall asleep and wish that that frown would disappear from your forehead. I know that when the sun is fully risen you'll wake and stare down at me, cursing inwardly at your weakness. You'll be colder, even cruel, to try and distance yourself from me. But you have to get close sometimes and every time you do it strengthens that bond so intense it made me give you my life.

I am your 'E' and even if you do get that other eye back, you'll still remember what I did for you. I'm just unsure that you'll understand why.

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Mmmm... vampire Fai plus angsty Kurogane...

Wow, it's been ages since I actually finished something I started writing! This is my first TRC fic, too, so please voice your thoughts by clicking the nice Review button! (It is your friend...)


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